Girls Can Do Better
Callie Shaw
November 6th, 2024
When I was a little girl, I had this shirt that read "Anything boys can do, girls can do better."
It was pink, with bold white letters that shouted my worth, my ability, my belief in the power of girlhood to everyone around me. I wore that shirt all the time - on playdates, on field trips, for free dress days at school. I distinctly remember wearing that shirt when I was learning how to ride my bike without training wheels, reminding myself of my confidence and independence.
This morning I woke up with existential dread. I tossed and turned all night, but couldn't decide what was worse - to be awake and be gutted, or to pretend to be asleep and avoid the reality that I knew was coming. I don’t know how I will ever be able to explain to someone who doesn't understand themselves what this feels like. This sadness, this confusion, anxiety, anger, disbelief, betrayal - this knowing that no matter how qualified, educated, hardworking, honest, kind, joyful a person you are, there are people in this world who will never believe in you - simply because of the two letters that precede "man". The absence of those two letters somehow holds more power, more worth, more assumed qualifications.
How do you explain that to the little girl in pink, learning how to ride her bike for the first time - when her dad lets go of the back of the seat and pushes her into the realities of a life without training wheels. Living without safeguards around you, living without autonomy over her own body, living without the belief that she can do anything in this world - because time and time again, she will be forced to watch misbehaved men be not held accountable for the genuine wrongness of their actions - for the hate they preach, the violence they endorse, the disgust for those different from them or their privileged view of the world. How do you explain that to a little girl? How do you explain that if only she were a boy, she could dream big, beautiful dreams that one day could become reality - not only through hard work or honesty or respectable behaviors - but through the anatomy they were born into.
Regardless of your political beliefs, regardless of your preferred economic plan or healthcare system or stance on gun control or abortion rights - I hope that today you feel the eyes of all the women in your life on you, because today those women woke up in a country that chose the price of eggs over the protection of her own, chose division over democracy, chose a man over a woman. The outcome of this election is a direct reflection of the internalized sexism whose soul is alive and well, right here in our closest neighbors.
I can understand the logic that not all who support him are rapists, or racist, or sexist. What I urge you to also understand is that you ultimately decided that rape wasn’t a dealbreaker - racism wasn’t a dealbreaker, sexism wasn’t a dealbreaker. And that to me is heartbreaking. As a sister, as a daughter, as a friend, as a survivor of sexual assault - how do you explain that to a little girl who believes she belongs in rooms where decisions are made and voices are heard, in rooms where people can come together in disagreement and forge futures for all. In rooms that celebrate the things that tie us all together, when parties and genders and tax brackets are stripped away. I hold pride in the fact that I will never have to explain why I, or those I love, chose to believe a felon over a woman - but if you do, that’s your cross to bear.
If I had more energy or hopeful sentiments, maybe I would write more - but I'm not a poet, I'm just a woman.
A woman who won’t forget what it felt like to wake up this morning. A woman who won't forget what it felt like to be reminded that anything a boy can do, a girl can do better - she just might not have the opportunity to.
