What Is Done In Love

Callie Shaw
April 2022

Today I logged onto therapy with tired eyes and a worn-down heart. I explained to my therapist how I feel like I am clocking into every day with existential dread; a looming fear of all the things I need to accomplish. I feel like I'm not doing enough- not having enough meals with people who mean a lot to me, not studying hard enough, not calling my grandma enough, not moving my limbs, or making my bed. She asked me,

"Well if you aren't doing these things every day, what are you doing? How do you spend the hours of each day?"

I laugh a lot; I smile at friends whose joy is infectious.

I dance while brushing my teeth.

I drop everything and lay in the sun when she decides to come out.

I send my friends texts reminding them that they are seen and loved.

I watch The Parent Trap and let my mind wander for a bit.

I listen to music and sing by myself.

I hold doors open for people and smile at strangers.

I say thank you often and genuinely.

What is done with love is done well. Love yourself when you sleep past your alarm, when you drank too much the night before, when your hair's knotty and unwashed, when you say the wrong thing, when you overthink, when you didn't go for the run you wanted to, when you wish you studied more. Love yourself because when you are ready to bear it, the joy will find its way back to you. And in the meantime, kiss your favorite foreheads, laugh loudly, love boldly, and appreciate the tiny victories every day. Always in your corner.